My family left this morning. Even now as I write this, I feel the tears rushing to my eyes again. It was such an exciting and busy week preparing for them, knowing I was about to share my life with them, some of whom haven’t been here yet. And in the middle of Saturday afternoon, surrounded by the familiar beautiful faces of the family that I love, I was struck with a pang of sadness, knowing that it was coming to an end.

In a flurry this morning, they packed up their scattered belongings and loaded the van. We took pictures, shared a round of hugs and tramped down the hallways of our building, just like we had all weekend, with lots of talking and laughter. Ben, the boys and I stood outside and watched them pile in, my beloved grandparents, my sweet mom and stepdad, my sister and nephew, my cousin. We blew kisses, we waved and just as quickly as they had come, they were gone.

We returned to our empty quiet apartment that only moments before had held such love and such life and Ben held me when I broke. Tears of sadness and homesickness trailed down my face that, for a moment, overshadowed the joy of the past 2 days. It always happens this way but more so lately. I miss my mom, my best friend. The quiet strength and love of my stepdad. The teasing laughter and steady love of my grandpa, the sweet loving spirit of my grandma. My ornery lovable nephew, my strong beautiful sister. And my cousin who is my lifelong friend and full of grace.

Ben reading a bedtime story to all the boys:) Zakkai, Samuel and Dylan
Grandpa-Great teasing Dylan and bringing back fond memories of us as children:)
Zakkai and his new best friend, Papa!
This is for you, Grandma!
The boys calling for the Lions: “Yions! Yions! Yiiiiii-ooooonnnss!”
My beautiful mom, my stepdad, my warm and selfless grandparents
Samuel was fascinated by these statues. Before he plopped down for a picture (all his own idea), he stuck his finger up their noses…
My cuz, Charity!
My sister, Chantelle
My beautiful mama and I. She was showing me the next step for my quilting!
2 of the most wonderful people I know! Grandma, don’t say a word, you look BEAUTIFUL!
My loving parents:)
I miss my family.

4 thoughts on “Aftermath

  1. Oh, Heidi. I've been thinking of you all weekend, and couldn't wait to check your blog today! 🙂 I'm so glad you had a wonderful time. But I know how painful it is when they leave. I've realized lately, that being on that end (the home they come to and leave from) is the hardest. Much harder, I think, than being the ones to go visit and then come back. Being the ones to stay put makes it harder, emotionally, to “go back” whereas being the ones who travel, there's a cushion of relief in going back to your “normalcy”…I don't know if this resonates with you or not. Regardless, I'm praying for you–especially that the joy of your time together would start to outweigh the sadness of missing them. Love!!


  2. Oh my Heidi, How I know just what you are going through. I have a terrible unhappy saddness every time some one leaves me. They can just go on vacation and I feel that emptyness. Oh I'm really am sick right. Oh well you come by your feelings probably inherated from me and now how are we going to get over this thing. Only the Lord can help us. Please Jesus help Heidi and her Grandma.


  3. Heidi Dear. I just looked through pictures again and it was so sweet of you to take a picture of my house it means so much to me and doesnt it look wonderful. A reminder for you. Please find some way to save all these blogs for your boys. They are precious.


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