Big Boy, Little Boy

My Samuel is 4 years old. 4! Yesterday morning he said, “Mommy, remember when I turned 4 last summer and had cake and ice cream?” I do remember, Samuel…only it wasn’t last summer, it was barely 2 months ago:) But time is going too fast. My sweet little peach fuzz baby was 8 weeks old when we moved here. And now he’s old enough to start preschool!

I’m feeling sad about that because many of his little buddies around here are going off to preschool but we couldn’t get in. I tried 3 different places and still haven’t heard back from them, after multiple attempts. I felt a pang of sadness today thinking that Samuel should be somewhere with other friends his age, working on social skills, learning how to participate in group settings and well, growing up. (Not that I want him to do that!)

But I can’t imagine sending him to kindergarten suddenly next year, 5 days a week, having never even tested out preschool. He would be so sad and probably feel abandoned by me, resulting in years of therapy! Oh, all right! I guess I’m a little dramatic sometimes:) It may or may not run in my family….

Anyways, I’m a little sad tonight. Sad that my little boy is growing up and old enough for preschool and sad that my big boy isn’t getting to go. I have to trust that there is a reason for him not getting in and that a better opportunity will open up for him. I know God loves him even more that I do, which is so hard to imagine, and that I’ll probably look back on this in a year and laugh at how silly I was for wanting my big little boy to grow up and go off to school.

For now, I guess I’ll just go peek at his sweet, innocent sleeping face and give him kisses and be thankful that he’s still little enough to enjoy that:)


3 thoughts on “Big Boy, Little Boy

  1. Heidi…I feel for you…I wonder what this year will hold…if there will be a later opening somewhere, or if Samuel is just supposed to be loved and taught at home. I mean, hello, alphabet weeks? You're like homeschooling supermom without even trying! Plus he has interactions with other kids at church and mom's group…some kids starting preschool have never been in other social settings like that. So don't feel like he'll be behind. If he jumps into 5 days a week kindergarten next year, I'd be way more concerned for YOU than him. My sister is going through a similar situation, and while her daughter will be just fine, it will be very hard for my sister. You could always look into summer programs that might meet a few days a week for a little bit of transition (again, for you!) if nothing opens up for preschool this year. But I will pray with you for the very best for your little/big boy.


  2. Oh my didn't know about Samuel not getting into a preschool. Now I'm sad. Is there anyway you could call all three places again and talk to a real person. Sometimes the squeeky wheel gets the greese. oh that is a old statement but then again I'm a Grandma… A thought may be the Lord wants him not to be exposed to all the worlds values quite yet. He's so sweet.


  3. Remember how in the olden days, kids didn't go to preschool and they turned out just fine? You're teaching your boys probably more every day than they would ever learn in a preschool! I tell everyone I know how smart your kids are. As for socialization, I'm sure he's getting a good dose of it a church and with your mom's groups and such. If you think about it, you probably don't want him picking up certain things from other kids anyway. He's such a sweet little boy. Anyway, hope you're not depressed about it anymore. Hope you're having fun with K and T.


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