While I appreciate (sort of) your meager attempts to apologize for “mishandling” my mail, I am still amazed that my mail appeared to me in the condition it was in. Seriously, was your postal worker attacked by a dog? A very hungry person? Someone waiting anxiously for an important letter? I’m really confused by the appearance of my very first seasonal Christmas card. By the looks of it, my friend now only has 2 children instead of 3. It’s too bad, really, because I was really looking forward to seeing the handsome face of her youngest. Sigh.
And now I have no Christmas card to hang on my refrigerator. Perhaps you forgot to add the other half of my card in the plastic envelope? I could have taped it together…
Postmaster, if you would kindly refrain from playing games with your paper shredder or tossing my letters to passing dogs, I would really appreciate it. Oh and if you could deliver my packages on time instead of 6 weeks later and quit losing my mail, I would also really appreciate that.