There are two different mommy’s warring within me on a daily basis. On a good, calm day, I am the “nice mommy” and I love being the nice mommy.
The nice mommy says, “I don’t mind if you splash your bathwater all over the bathroom! Less mopping for me later! Look at you two having fun being children!” in a sing-songy voice.
The mean mommy says, “If you so much as splash one tiny droplet of water on my clean floor, your bath is over! I mean it!”
The nice mommy says, “Just look at this mess all over the floor! You boys must have been having a GREAT time playing! Let’s have fun cleaning it up…together!”
The mean mommy says, “Ugh! Toys EVERYWHERE! Can’t you clean up after yourself? Someone’s going to trip and fall and break their leg! And knowing my luck, it’ll probably be me!”
The nice mommy says, “Oh, you don’t want to eat another bite of those nasty wasty green beans, pookie? Okay! Let me just whip you up something else to eat! I have all the time in the world!”
The mean mommy says, “You will not move from the table until you eat a bite of those green beans. Even if you have to sit here ALL night!!”
The nice mommy says, “Oh, jumping off of the couch and doing head dives again? You sweet little boys have so much energy and must be dying to get outside! Let’s go put on all 18 layers of our winter coats, hats, scarves and mittens and just step outside for some FUN!”
The mean mommy says, “Boys! What did I tell you about jumping off the couch?! Someone is going to crack their head open and I do NOT have time to go to the ER right now!”
The nice mommy sings, “I’m on the phone, sugar plum! Would you like to say hello? Try to be quiet for 2 peeps and we’ll play a fifth round of Candy Land!”
The mean mommy hisses (so the other party cannot hear), “Shhh! I am on the phone! That means you do not talk to me until I am done! Do you understand?!! (and then)Hello? Oh, so sorry about that! Boys….”
So many days these two mommy’s are fighting to get out. Most of the time I would say I fall in between, which possibly is where I need to be! Not too lenient and not too harsh. But it’s so easy to feel like I need to be the “perfect” mommy even though I know there is no such thing! The world today tells you if you don’t do everything just right with your kids, they will be messed up for life and in counseling for 16 years!
I try so hard to be balanced, loving but consistent with discipline, affectionate and tender but firm when needed, full of fun and great ideas but making time for mommy, too! (sounds great, huh?) I wish I could be like this more often! I too often look at other moms, wishing I could be just like them when the reality is, they probably have many of the same struggles I do!
The amazing thing is, even after a really tough day full of tantrums or mini crises, too much busyness and stress, I go peek on them as they slumber in their beds and as I watch their peaceful, content little faces, all of the yuckiness of the day washes away and I am suddenly renewed for the next day.
I do love those little boys, even if I am not “the” perfect mommy, I am their mommy. And that’s just what I’m supposed to be!