Potty Mouth

 Wow, what a long day! It could be since I’ve been up for about 13 hours now and on my own caring for our 3 bambinos. What a busy crew!

Poor Little Miss has a cold:( She started out with one while I was sick earlier in the week, got better for a couple days and got worse last night. She’s a snotty, sniffling, sneezy mess! Lots of extra cuddles for this one.

And poor baby fell today into the front door and has a huge red/purple arch over her eyebrow…..in the exact shape as her glasses. I think it actually could’ve been a lot worse if she hadn’t had glasses on.

Zakkai and Samuel played outside for hours today, despite it being 40 something degrees! They even ate lunch outside:) We are the hotspot for neighborhood kids these days. They are banging on our back sliding door at all hours during the day, pressing their faces to the glass, hoping for a glimpse of the boys.

A couple new boys (as in, new to us) have been coming around and they are bad news. Let me tell you, I like kids and think they’re awfully cute. It’s hard for me to say I don’t like a child but after watching this one boy repeatedly tell lies to my boys (that I have to refute 16 times a day), say mean things to Eliana when he thinks no one is around, and say mean spiteful things to the boys (esp Samuel)to hurt their feelings, it’s pretty hard for me to like him.

And to top it off, to my complete horror, when the boys came in for dinner tonight, Samuel said, “Mommy, ____ (the neighbor boy) and this other kid were telling us secrets and saying bad words.”

Zakkai piped up with, “Yeah, they were saying shut up and hate.” I was a little relieved to hear that the “bad words” were standard words that we don’t use until Samuel said, “Yeah and they were saying S— AND F—.”

My children just heard some seriously bad words for the first time in their lives and it was such a shock to hear them come out of Samuel’s mouth. I immediately told them how bad those words were and that I never wanted to hear them out of their mouths again.

And then I tucked my innocent babies in bed and marched (or limped) straight over to their houses to tell the parents of these 5 year old kindergartners that their little boys have potty mouths.

Except I tried to be as nice as possible:)

I made my first craft project since before surgery today! I’ve been wanting to make a dress for Eliana using some of my leftover quilt material and here it is! I think she’ll look so pretty in it:)

Please ignore this bad picture but Eliana got ahold of some stickers and put them all over her. I thought it was pretty funny:)

Off to recover from this day…..!



I had a revelation today. It happens occasionally:) I have a problem with anxiety and fear. (No, that’s not the revelation!) It’s something that goes way back and even runs in my family. I am trying very hard to battle it with prayer and bible verses because I do NOT want it to rule my life.

Lately, we’ve seen evidence that Samuel is following along in my footsteps. That absolutely crushed me. If I had to pick one fault of mine (and there are MANY!) that I do not want to pass on to my children, it’s my tendency to worry. As soon as I came face to face with this in my son, I started acting because I have a lot of life to live.

So this morning, the boys were happily playing outside, racing around on their scooters. Suddenly Samuel burst through the door with his scooter and declared that he was done playing because there was a BEE outside. Zakkai came tumbling in after him but I could tell, in typical Z-man fashion, that he really didn’t care as much as Samuel did and was only following him as a dutiful younger brother would do. He quickly got over his brief bee-scare and was back outside within a minute or two, calling for Samuel to join him.

No amount of convincing on my part could get Samuel to step foot outside for many, long minutes. “But what if it stings me?”
 “What if it chases me?”
“What if it flies inside my mouth?”
“What if it stings my mouth?”
“It’s going to HURT!”
 “I CAN’T go outside!!:
“What if it thinks I’m a flower?”
 “My sweatshirt is wet. What if the bee thinks it’s pollen on my sweatshirt and stings me?”

All of these are almost verbatim from Samuel’s overworked brain. Now, granted, Samuel was stung by a bee last summer at my mom’s house so he knows that it hurts.. He was treated immediately and hardly seemed fazed by it.


While I was trying to reason with him, trying to make him think logically (“Samuel, the bee knows the difference between a boy and a flower. Trust me, he does not think you are pollen!”) trying everything I could to get him to stop with the “What ifs”, it struck me.

That’s exactly what I do. I have spent so much of my time being so afraid of the “What ifs” in life that I miss the real, pulsing, wonderful, hectic life right in front of me. I have been stung before by life. And it hurts. But every time God gives me the grace I need to handle it and I grow from it.

Why should that stop me from living my life FREE? I can’t stand by and watched my little boy miss out on a beautiful, sunny day and the chance to ride around on his scooter and be free just because of a fear of something that might happen.

It was a big moment for me. To literally see myself in my child. I can picture so many times Ben or my mom saying “But, Heidi, that hasn’t even happened. You have no reason to believe that could happen. You need to trust God. You need to stop worrying. etc” And I fight so hard because that fear is so tangible to me, so real. But I saw with such clarity today that I’m the little child, huddled inside on a beautiful sunny day with life going on around me, afraid because something bad might happen.

Chances are, I might just miss out on some really good things while I’m so busy taking my burdens back from a God who says He’ll carry them for me.


Happy Tuesday

I want to say thank you SO much for all of your kind comments here, by phone or on FB about Eliana and her glasses. It is a sensitive subject with us, one that is equally bitter and equally sweet. There is a fear there, that people will look at her and think something is “wrong” with her. A fear that she will be judged or liked less. There has already been one hurtful comment made by someone who should’ve known better.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart for being kind and encouraging to us and our sweet girl! It really means a lot.

Tonight after storytime, I was giving each of the boys in turn their hugs and kisses. I had Zakkai squeezed tightly in my arms and I whispered in his ear, “I love you, Zakkai Nathaniel Thomas.” He squeezed me and leaned back and fixed his bright blue eyes on me. After a pause he said, “I always think you’re pretty, Mommy.” I thanked him and then a minute later he said, “Mommy, I’ve loved you as long as you’ve been alive.”

I love this kid!!!

After a few months of beating their shoes to a pulp, it is once more time to re-shoe my boys. It’s happening more and more frequently as they get older. I could swear I just bought them shoes a few weeks ago but they dutifully bring me their shoes with holes and missing chunks, worn away soles and dirty like they were thrown into a mud pit with a herd of pigs. (Do pigs live in herds??)

I got a little over-zealous today and decided to make a trip to Kohl’s, armed with my 30% off coupon and 3 children and get the boys some much-needed shoes, underwear and a pair of jammies for Samuel, who has lately been coming down outfitted in pj’s up to his mid-calves! (Do they ever stop growing???)

First of all, wasn’t it me last night who said I wasn’t ready to go traipsing around a store? I could’ve sworn it was me…..

We marched (or limped) straight over to the shoe section and after 15 minutes of trying to find the right sizes, right boxes and right prices, I was d.o.n.e. I realized how very stupid I was for attempting such a monumental outing so soon.

But somehow, I girded up my loins and we doggedly finished our mini shopping trip. The boys are happily outfitted in new running shoes, guaranteed by in-store demonstrations to make them run faster, jump higher and play harder. These are some happy little boys!

I’m kind of glad warm weather will soon be here to stay because hopefully a lot less holes will be worn into their pants:) Not sure the bank account can take it!!

Eliana is already master at breaking her daddy’s heart. You’ve heard me say it many a time and he will not deny it! Lately, she has fallen to pieces if he gets his coat on or even touches the door knob without giving her indication that he is taking her with him. She got so used to him taking her everywhere with him when he was actively Mr Mom and now she can’t stand to think that he is going out into the beautiful, exciting world without her!

He can’t even take out the trash without her crying for him. He had to drive away to work on Monday with her sad face being the last thing he saw:( Whoever said the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach never had a little girl!


Warning: Long post!!

 Lots of progress is being made over here! First of all, I am really happy to say I think I’ve finally turned the corner after 5 miserable days. Yuck. I don’t remember the last time I’ve had the flu but let me say for the record that the flu shot is probably a good idea!

Especially if you have a few germ-carrying children living with you!

Also, I am……ready for this? WALKING!!! I have made it through 2 days crutch-free now! I am not ready to be traipsing all over the neighborhood or anything but definitely can get around the house. It feels SO good to be able to do things again: helping prepare meals, washing dishes and carrying my sweet girl!

I am so looking forward to gaining strength so I can do normal things like walking through a store or to the park or even standing for longer periods of time, which is kind of painful. At the orders of my crazy-doc, I had to buy some Crocs to wear so I could have a looser, more comfortable shoe to wear. Even if they are ugly.

So I am the proud new owner of some Raspberry and Gray colored Crocs. Please don’t judge me. I know I’m not cool. But they are helping me as I re-learn how to walk without the pirate-peg-leg-gait. Definitely not cool.

Missy Darlin’ is 17 months old now! She is picking up new words like “Dint” (Drink) and “Peez” (please), “Doo-doo” (Choo-Choo) and “Doddie” (Doggie). She loooooves to tell us about every train that goes by…..which is a lot when you live right next to a train track:) But her little train sign and “Doo-doo!” never gets old:)

She is getting VERY picky with her food. I was in a really happy place called Denial, thinking that the picky stage would skip right over her. Right. She turns up her nose at old favorites, making it very hard to figure out what to feed her. Some staples that we know she will always eat are cheese, oranges, strawberries, blueberries, broccoli and most meat. Little stinker!

She is getting so tall and loving walking around everywhere. I just realized the other day that I haven’t seen her crawl lately. For awhile after she learned to walk, she would crawl a few times a day. But it’s gradually stopped over the past week or so. (wiping tear away).

She is doing great with her glasses! She barely put up a fight today and seems to actually like them. We are noticing instant correction with her eye, which makes us SO happy!

I got to put my sweet angel to bed tonight, all the way through with no “help” needed. It was wonderful. To give her a bath, get her all cozy, rock her and read her a story. I am so thankful.

 This kiddo is maturing so fast! He has calmed down so much, not throwing as many ridiculous tantrums (although they still burst out from time to time!). He is more sensitive to things like being left-out by his brother and neighborhood friends and fairness. He is riding the line between wanting to be little boy and play in the bathtub and race cars and wanting to be like big brother, who doesn’t want to play the same things much anymore. It makes me feel sad for him because I don’t want him to stop being a little boy yet.

Cute story: He came home from preschool a couple weeks ago with a sticker on his shirt. I noticed it and asked about it. He said, “I got this sticker from playing Salom at school.” I said “Salom? What is that?” He explained that “Salom” was something they played during free time and his teacher, Ms Dredsen, gave out some stickers.

I was totally thinking it was some cultural thing they were playing since they celebrate a lot of different cultures/holidays. So I was surprised (and amused) upon further questioning to find out that “Salom” is a place where girls go to get their hair fixed but boys can’t go there.

I still haven’t figured out why he’s getting Salom stickers if boys don’t go there but I didn’t ask. He got two Salom stickers that week:)

His little boy-ness that I want to remember: He still gets “psketti” face after he eats spaghetti, he loves to come sit in my lap, he loves to play in the bathtub for long periods of time, he talks to himself while he plays, he loves to pick out all his own clothes (very proudly) and regularly mismatches or puts shirts on backwards (so cute:), he announces almost every time that he has to go potty, he’s sweet and tender, developing his self-confidence, wants to be loved and included, screams and laughs the loudest and has the most beautiful blue eyes ever!

My Samuel is such BIG kid now. To the point where we are adjusting disciplining/rewards to fit now. (ex. being sent to his room instead of time-outs or losing privileges instead of toys) He’s maturing so fast and while it is a good, normal, happy thing, it also makes me sad!! How is this kiddo already 6 1/2??

He doesn’t like to take baths anymore, just wants to wash himself and get right out (much to the sadness of Z). We’ve offered to teach him how to take a shower so he can be quick but he’s not too sure about all the water running over his face:) He doesn’t play with Thomas the Train anymore, his love since he was 2 1/2! He constantly complains of being “bored” even though he has tons of toys. The thing that really tugged at my sensitive mommy-heart was when I noticed over the past months, that while giraffees still hold a place of honor in his bed, he doesn’t always notice if they fall out right away. He’s quick to pick them up and tuck them up by his pillow if you tell him but he’s such a big kid now. (of course, today he brought giraffees in for inspection, showing me holes and various things to perform mommy-surgery on:)

He rolls is eyes at our humor and says “Oh, brother!” He sneaks up on us, hoping to overhear secret adult conversation, convinced we are having all the fun without them.

But he still loves hugs, he giggles and belly-laughs when you tickle him, he feels things so deeply and cries easily (like his mama!) because of that beautiful, sensitive heart. He’s still that same sweet boy we welcomed into our life 6 1/2 years ago……he’s just bigger. And more mature. And that takes some getting used to.

I just love these kiddos and all the joy and noise they bring to our life!

Day 1!!

We are having a MUCH more successful day with the glasses here!! We gave up yesterday after the trauma to give her some rest. This morning just after she woke up we got 10 good minutes in (a HUGE change from 5 seconds) before she ripped them off in defiance and disgust.

We gave her a break for breakfast and then as soon as she was involved in play, we snuck those hateful glasses right on her cute face. It’s hard because we have to hold down her hands and she cries and cries but as soon as we got her involved back in her toy, she forgot about them!

And here we are 2 hrs and 15 minutes later….still going strong!

So little, so sweet.

 Even smiles!!

Such a precious girl!

New Eyes!

Today was a big day for our Biscuit. She got her glasses. Her initial try-on was everything we thought it would be.

Screaming, crying, ripping them off, having her hands held down, miserable. There was one brief moment where she stopped and looked around, almost like she was thinking, “Whoa. I can see!” And then she fogged them up with crocodile tears and ripped them off.

According to the Dr, she will love them but it isn’t hopeful at this point.

We tried to get her to try them after her nap today. But she staunchly resists any and all attempts to put them on her head. So for now we are leaving it with trying the glasses on her stuffed animals, putting them on faces in books and trying to make them “okay” and not scary.

This is the best shot I could get in the 3.4 seconds she kept them on this afternoon, crocodile tears and all. Ben said he could see her eyes straighten almost immediately in the few glimpses we got of her in them. Hope this means it’ll work! That is, if we can ever get her to keep them on….

She’s a cutie, alright:)