Dear Samuel, Zakkai and Eliana,
I thought a lot about being a mommy today. That sounds silly considering it is Mother’s Day. I mean I could hear my heart and my head pondering all of the little things that go into mothering you all day long.
It still seems kind of odd to me to be celebrated when I should be only celebrating my own mother! But then I am woken up at 7am by my two precious, little boys who couldn’t wait to come in and whisper “Happy Mother’s Day” to me and try to get me downstairs so I could open their long-labored over gifts. And I realized I am the one being celebrated. Wow.
Sometimes I get caught up in the mundane, daily tasks. I wake you up, herd you through our routines of getting dressed, eating breakfast, brushing teeth and getting ready for school. I drive you to school, sometimes running late, I pick you up. I scold you, I cluck, I guide, I kiss, I hug, I pick, I praise. I do a million little things each day to show you I love you and to care for you.
But sometimes I forget to just cherish you. I’ll find myself thinking “Did I stop and look in his eyes when he was just talking to me?” “Have I hugged him for no reason today?” Sometimes I get so caught up in the cleaning and cooking, mothering and running of the household and family that I forget.
How precious and wonderful, amazing and little you really are. Such gifts to me.
This morning at church daddy and I heard a wonderful message about children. It was the kind of message that stirs all kinds of feelings and resolves in your heart and leaves you wanting to change your life. Or the lives of children like you.
The pastor talked about being like the little child. About how Jesus wanted the children (like you!) to come to him when the disciples told them to go away. Those loud, rambunctious, dirty, sticky, screaming, laughing, innocent children! (because I’m pretty sure that children were the same back then as they are now:)
But Jesus said that to be like a little child ~ with all of your innocence, your trusting hearts, your amazing ability to see the good in the little things when all we can see is the bad or the potential for bad ~ is to inherit the kingdom of God.
We see rain, you see puddles to splash in. We see a mess of toys on the floor, you see how much fun you had. We get a headache from sitting in traffic, you watch the cars around us and point out all the interesting people and things you see. We worry when you are sick and you ask us to pray for you, believing Jesus will hear and that you’ll feel better.
And the challenge in that message we heard this morning was to protect your innocence from all of the yuckiness this world tries to teach you, to cherish and protect your trusting hearts, not to forget to just adore you on top of caring for your needs and most of all, to learn from you.
Because you have a lot to teach adults. We need to learn to see the world and people with your eyes. To hear God with your ever-listening ears. To pray with a trusting believing heart. To forgive without batting an eye. To love with a whole, unbroken, uncondemning heart.
You make me a better person every day. You help me be unselfish and more loving. You help me to let go of my grudges or grouchiness and forgive. You help me to love deeper than I’ve ever loved before.
You help bring Daddy and I closer so we can be a strong foundation (with God!) for you. You show us what kind of love Jesus has for all of us. I see all of the ways I feel I’ve failed you, you see all of the ways I’ve loved you.
And it’s simply amazing.
So today, I am thankful and remembering. Thankful for my own mother and her constant wisdom, love and guidance that is helping to shape me into a mother like her (I hope!). Thankful to remember that it is a gift to love, shape and learn from you three every single day.
Remembering those who’s mothers are watching from above, silently loving and guiding. And remembering and praying for those whose arms long to be filled with childen of their own.
Thank you for making me feel so incredibly loved today with all of your extra hugs, your brightly colored cards, your special gifts and your many “I love you’s.” I love each of you more than you’ll ever know. Until you have your own children:)
“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” ~Rajneesh
“I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life’. ~Abraham Lincoln