I am totally having an….early mid-life crisis. Or is it an early life crisis?
No, I’m not dying my hair black or getting my nose pierced or buying a convertible. Yet. I’m not changing my personality or going off the deep end (I don’t think anyways!) but I am having a mental freak-out!
How in the world am I about to turn 30? Didn’t I just graduate from high school? Weren’t Ben and I just dating? Wasn’t I just a young starry-eyed 19 year old with no clue about paying bills and adult responsibility?
How in the world am I THIRTY (almost), married for over 8 years, with 3 kids?
I joined the YMCA tonight (so S could join t-ball….see tomorrow’s post!) and they had to take my picture. I had bad flashbacks of my driver’s license picture last year where I tried to go for a pleasant yet not-quite-smiling look and ended up looking like I’m snarling my lip (hey, none of the other hardened Chicagoans were smiling and I felt peer-pressure!) so I gave a good smile for this one.
Only I look so…..old. I’m just supposed to be a young lady still! I’m still a daughter, young and ready to take on the world, right?
So why am I feeling like the minute I turn 30 (soon…hey, I can still enjoy my last days of youth!), everything’s going to change? Like suddenly I can’t have fun anymore and have to be a “real” adult? Like suddenly my body will change and I’ll blow up and won’t have the energy to chase after my kids? Oh wait….that already happens….
My knees are starting to get stiff when I spend too long on the ground. I get elbow pains when I lift weights, my legs fall asleep more. I get headaches when I stare at the computer screen too long (not that I have much time for that!) I’m getting wrinkles, for heaven’s sakes!!
I find myself repeating phrases I heard as a child like, “In or out! You make up your mind and stay inside or outside!” ( you know you heard that one) or “What part of NO did you not hear?” (during my mean moments) or “You have to try your vegetables.” or “If you make that face, it might stay that way!” (purely joking, of course!)
I’m driving a car that I swore up and down I would NEVER EVER in a million years drive and pretty soon I’ll have a soccer decal on the back and you’ll see me swerving in an out of lanes turning around and passing out juicing boxes and/or screaming at my children in the rearview mirror.
Pretty soon I’ll be wearing coulats and white reebox or jumpers with little animals on the front.
So if you see me sometime soon and I really have done something crazy like bought a motorcycle or chopped off my hair and dyed it pink and changed my name to “Trix”…..don’t worry, I’m just having a crisis and I’m sure it will pass…..
(Don’t worry, children, Mommy’ll be alright soon…)