A Day of Love.

March 15, 2003
*9 years
*3 states
*7 apartments
*3 children
*3 educational degrees
*2 archaeological digs
*2 vacations
*3200+ days
And countless moments of laughter, inside jokes, tears, pain, hugging, holding hands, praying, dreaming, hoping, waiting, learning, forgiving….
A lifetime of commitment. A lifetime of Love.
I love you, Benjamin Thomas!
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BattleMaiden

I feel like I am at such war today. Battling between excitement over some recent gifts and blessings and fears over future uncertainties and difficult upcoming decisions. Why is it so hard for me to just relax and be at peace?
When I figure it out, I’ll let you know! I am constantly trying to “take every thought captive” because it’s the little thoughts that creep in and try to steal my joy and spread dangerously like a fast-growing cancer. Just for once in my life, I’d like to believe that God really loves me and that I am worth a gift or two.

It’s just such an example to me of the power of a parent’s words over their child and the life-long lasting effects they can have, whether good or bad. I am thinking of my earthly father and the devestatingly powerful effect his mocking words had on my life. So much in my life has been healed but I know that I will continue to fight to break the power of his words over me with God’s words. And the main message of those words that I continue to battle is: “You’re not worth it.”

So tonight I will take on the meaning of my name that has come in handy so many times over the  years and drape it over me like armor. Tonight I will become a “Battlemaiden” and choose to accept Love.
Because only when I accept it, can I truly pass it on to the most important little people in my life.
God is Love.