Fullness!

Guess I have some catching up to do! Last Monday, Zakkai had his first belt-testing in Tae Kwon Do! It was very cool to watch! He did a great job and is now a very proud orange belt!

 

 

He even got to break a board at the end! I will keep working on uploading the video. I’ve watched it about 10 times and it makes me so happy!

 

 

And I snuck back in after he fell asleep that night to get a picture of him sleeping with his broken board and TKD belts under his bed:) So cute!

 

The only thing I asked for on Mother’s Day (not that I would ask for anything anyways!) was a picture. My standard request:) Can’t believe how big my babies are getting! Yeah, yeah, I know they aren’t babies but I tell them they will always be my babies!

Pretty Little Miss!

I just love this picture of E and her grandma-great!! They are good buddies;)

We were trying to take pictures outside of the 4 generations but it was SO windy and none of us were happy for various reasons with the pictures. Our hair was blowing, it made our dresses blow up and made us look pregnant, etc:) Still, a memory to treasure!

Eliana had her preschool graduation last week, too! The other teacher and I worked with both classes to teach them some songs to sing. Eliana did great during the rehearsals and after one song during the program, totally froze:( She was so upset and if I made any eye contact with her, she got really sad! It broke my heart! She felt much better when she went to sit with her Mugga and Grandma and opened her graduation gift of a Frozen t-shirt! Elsa makes everything better:)

We found a cute local restaurant to eat lunch after church on Sunday! Besides it being a beautiful afternoon to sit on the patio and hanging out as a family, it was awesome because the kids ate free! Now that’s our kind of meal:) Love this princess!

My handsome pre-teen:)

My partner in crime!

Mr Blue Eyes!

I made a dress last week (in between all that craziness!) and was SO excited to wear it on Sunday! I just love how it turned out!

The back.

Fancy details!

Me modeling it;)

 Samuel (and Ben) had a game bright and early Saturday morning and won! Samuel even got to pitch for a bit and struck out two kids! He got two hits and was proud to show off a slight bruise from being hit with the baseball. A badge of honor, I guess:)

All in all, except for feeling under the weather for a few days, it was a very good, albeit busy week and weekend! Life is full these days:)

Ballerinas and Weekend Fun!

 We actually had a really pleasant weekend, for once! On Friday night, some friends of ours from church, an older couple, called and asked if they could take the boys to have some fun on Saturday afternoon and to spend the night! The boys thought about it overnight (they were a little nervous!) and decided they really wanted to go. So our friends, who have been like surrogate grandparents to us over this past year or so, picked up the boys and took them to a movie, followed by Chuck-E-Cheeses and then to their house. They called twice to say hello to me and to say goodnight. They were having the time of their lives!

Meanwhile, Eliana was invited to her very first birthday party for a friend we met at MOPS and it was at a dance studio. Talk about CUTE!

The girls could dress in any princess or dance-ish outfit they wanted. They were all adorable! Eliana wanted to wear her ballet costume that I found on clearance last month at Kohls. Gosh, she’s cute!

The parents weren’t allowed to stay for the party since the studio doesn’t have a lot of room. Eliana was a little nervous but was okay when we left. We got to spend about an hour and 15 minutes walking around our cute little downtown area! Just the two of us; like a mini date! We haven’t been on a date in an embarrassingly long time so we get a lot of pleasure out of even an hour to ourselves! It was really relaxing and the weather was gorgeous on Saturday.

They asked all the parents to come back 10 minutes early for a little “recital” that the girls put on for us. How cute are all these munchkins?

Each little girl was handed a sparkly star wand when they came in and somewhere in the dancing confusion, Eliana set hers down and someone quickly claimed it since it was purple:) All that were left were the white ones but she seemed happy with the substitute!

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There wasn’t room to stand to the side of E so I had to video her from behind. Still, SO precious! We loved every second of it:)

 

Then since we were down to only one child (how easy is that??) we decided to use a gift card we had and go out to eat! What a rare treat for this little ducky! She had such a good time.

It was a really nice day!

Looking so pretty on Mother’s Day in her sundress:)

 After church, we were invited back to our friends’ house for a late lunch/early dinner. The boys were so at home with them and really didn’t want to leave! They had had such a good time over the weekend and were totally spoiled rotten:)

Mr. Chuck, Ms. Sally and our trio! They will always hold special places in our hearts for taking us in the way they have over this past year. They made our weekend so special and blessed us tremendously!

That’s it in a nutshell!

Mother’s Day.

I was hoping to post a picture or two of my mom and I and sadly, can’t find any of the two of us together! So, I’ll stick to words tonight:)

I think mothers are amazing. It’s kind of funny to say that since I am a mother now and I struggle with thinking I am a good one. But maybe all mothers struggle sometimes. Wondering if her love is enough. If it covers enough hurt. If it strengthen and fortifies enough. If it’s unconditional enough. If she did enough period.

I’ve learned about mothers in stages. First, as a child, receiving the love of my mom greedily. Taking for granted her loving hugs, gentle guidance, homemade cookies, the special memories she created. Just knowing she was my mom and she loved me. She was my safe place. She was mine. Mother.

Then, as a teenager, struggling through finding my own identity. An easy time to misunderstand a mother’s constant love. To not be able to see it as clearly as you wrestle with the pains of growth and insecurity. A time when children often lash out in some way at the one person who is constantly on their side. Mother.

As a newly emerged young adult. Finding a new footing; coming from under the shelter of her love and into a new stage of mother-turning-friend. Seeking her guidance while trying to find my own way. Barely beginning to see the depths, the enormity of what her love and sacrifice covered in my childhood. Not even realizing that even then she was loving me enough to let me become a woman myself. Mother.

Then, meeting my mother-in-law and seeing another mother, who’s love shaped her own sons, extend her love to cover me. A mother who loved her son so much, she had to let him go and trust me to love him, too. Mother.

Becoming a mother myself. And having that first inkling of what my mom felt for me when she first held me in her arms and as she watched me grow. That first understanding of what my mother-in-law meant when she said that having a child of your own fills you with such joy and such pain all at the same time. A tender, beautiful mother heart that is meant to be broken. Sometimes over and over again.

Throughout my almost 9 years as a mommy myself, I have slowly uncovered more of the depth and riches of a mother’s love. I have seen more and more clearly how powerful, amazing and utterly life-changing it is.  I begin to see that even as I understand more and more clearly as I age, I will never ever know how much she gave for me. How much she hurt for me. How much she prayed for me. How much she gave of herself for me.

How even now, with all of her children grown, she still loves. She still hurts, she still prays, she still gives. And she will never stop until she breathes her last breath.

Whether a mother is a great-grandmother, opening her arms even wider to encompass her children’s children’s children. Whether she is a grandmother, sharing her special love with the next little generation. Or she is still in the active, exhausting, exhilarating stage of mothering. She will never stop loving.

Even as it fills her heart, breaks her heart, mends her heart, empties her heart and fills it again. She’ll do it. Over and over and over again. She’s amazing. And she’s mine. She’s yours. She’s mother, whether she’s still on this earth or watching over you in heaven.

 To my mom most of all. To my grandma. To my mother-in-love. Three women, whose mother hearts have shaped me, touched me and loved me. Happy Mother’s Day.

Happy Mother’s Day!

 I always feel terrible when I neglect my bloggy blog but I have been sick and not feeling like doing too much! I was fighting a cold for several days and in the middle of last week, it took over! I was pretty miserable for a few days with an aching ear/head and body, crazy congestion and a cough.

Now I’m left with crazy congestion, a cough and no voice! But I am so glad I felt well enough to go out with my precious family today.

Here was our Friday night family fun:) Eating homemade pizza and playing Scrabble Junior!

This morning the boys brought special gifts to me when I was still in bed! They both made books at school and they were SO cute! I will be saving them forever.

Samuel’s was a flip book with several reasons why he loves me. A few reasons were that I help him with his homework, I snuggle with him and give him kisses and hugs at nighttime. He drew really great pictures!

Zakkai’s was a very cute fill in the blank book. According to Zakkai, I am 60 inches tall (I claim my 3 extra inches!!), weigh 10 pounds, have tan hair, love pizza and hate yogurt (true!) and love to spend time outside with him. He had a really cute picture of the two of us sitting in chairs facing each other. Z was saying, “Let’s talk.” and I was saying, “Yeah, let’s talk.” So cute!

You know, I often lamblast myself on my failings as a mother. I am not patient enough, I don’t look them in the eye enough when they’re talking, I don’t spend enough one on one time with them, I say “NO” too much, and on and on. It is so easy to see the negative and focus on it.

But then you get a book from your son telling you he loves you because you kiss him when you tuck him in and help him with his homework and that’s enough for him. He still loves me, despite my shortcomings and failings. They still see good in me and want me, ME, to be their mother, even though I don’t always do it right.

Wow. It’s humbling and gracious and amazing! I love these kiddos SO much. Eliana fell asleep in my arms when we got home from lunch and I held her and just thanked God for even that simple gift; holding my sweet baby girl. I pray this year I can learn to be an even better mother. One who cheers on my children, encourages them and builds them up, shows them how very important they are, one who is a little more patient, a little more quick to say “yes” instead of “no”, one who models for them the love of Jesus.

This morning on the way to church, Zakkai said, “Hey! I have a great idea! How about we listen to Mommy every Mother’s Day?!” haha!
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And to my own Mama, I already told you in the card what you mean to me but let me say it again. You have cheered me on, encouraged me, lifted me up when I needed help, prayed for me, battled with me and for me and have been such a constant love in my life and have shown me Jesus. I love you SO much.

To my Grandma: when I was little, you were my sweet, soft Grandma who spoiled me with sleepovers, McDonald’s hamburgers, Snicker’s ice cream bars, trips to the cabin and when I grew up you became my friend. You pray for me, encourage me, share your wisdom with me and love me unconditionally. Thank you! I love you!

And to Ben’s mom: You gave me your son. A man you raised to love God. A son you prayed over and taught so many values and wonderful things to. He often remembers things that you told him over and over; things he wants to pass down to our children. You also took me in as your daughter with no hesitation. You have loved me, faults and all, over these years and I am so thankful for our relationship! I love you!

Happy Mother’s Day!